Psychodynamic Whispers

Live in the what if's and your life will be the same.  Tumbleweeds turning with their direction controlled.  No particular destination but I do wonder if they desire one?  The wind as their gas, the dust at their feet...running!   Followers at best.  Mimicking poker hands unbeknownst to the other.  Muck or split it up are the two doorways in that one.  I've said it once and I'll say it again, time is one common denominator that does not stop.  Tick, tick, tick, tick.  There is only One Who knows when your clock will run out of batteries.  Throttle adjustment.  Some people rush and run towards nothing at all.  Some people sit and wait for the same.  Who's to tell what waits and lurks.  As for me, I've got an intuition for the moment.  After that moment is gone, you may or may not feel just what you should've done, and when you should've done it.  That's just it.  A society of imperfect people at large learning their lessons along the way.  Life may become a bad episode of Groundhog Day until the lesson is learned.  Holding patterns with a lot of reflecting time.  Hope deferred makes the heart sick and it's not a past tense word.  One cannot hope for something to happen yesterday.  Creativity knows no boundaries nor should it.  Innate qualities versus personal experiences equals individual differences in physical and behavioral traits.  Does the scales tip toward the "blank slate" or a division of both making the question naive?  I don't think this moment right now cares so much about how we arrived here, but more so what we are going to do with it.  There are however, questions that linger and puzzles to put together.  Tell a child not to do something and you've made their agenda checklist.  It's not that they think you are wrong but as the term is used rather abrasively in this context, curiosity killed the cat.  Life is not easy or a bed of roses at times.  I can confidently say that nobody ever promised that to you...ever.  I can take a bad situation and make it a nuclear disaster, believe me it's just not that hard to do.  I think that everyone can and will define contentment differently.  Painting pictures of those happy little spaces everyone longs to just stay a little longer.  I don't blame you at all.  A little secret for you.  Recondition new and more spaces to stop for awhile.  Not a panic room, just a space for the moment.  Adversity does develop character and you can also recondition that so it does not sucker punch you in the face.  Practice and patience.  Progress not perfection.  First thing first.  Buspirone not Xanax.  Dr. Seuss, is there anything that you would like to add?   

1. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, it's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope.

2.  I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind.  But I've bought a big bat.  I'm all ready you see.  Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!

and

3.  So be sure when you step, Step with care and great tact.  And remember that life's A Great Balancing Act.  And will you succeed?  Yes!  You will, indeed! (98 and ¾ percent guaranteed) Kid, you'll move mountains.

Well put Dr. S!

WAIT!  I've got one more thing to bring!

4.  In my world, everyone's a pony and they all eat rainbows and poop butterflies!

 

JG  

The Dark Side of Oz

It was only a matter of "time"

 All of the credit for this video goes to Brian Pugh, Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, and Pink Floyd.

JG

Earthworm Jim

Phish: Dirt - 2009-06-04 - Jones Beach, Wantagh, NY

I'd like to live beneath the dirt
A tiny space to move and breathe
Is all that I would ever need

I wanna live beneath the dirt
Where I'd be free from push and shove
Like all those swarming up above

Beneath their heels I'll spend my time
I'll wriggle in the earth and dew
And sometimes I will think of you

And if you ever think of me
Kneel down and kiss the earth
And show me what this thought is worth...

One of my favorite venues!

Have a stellar day everyone...

JG

Melody Monday

Rusted Root 11-30-96 "Beautiful People"  St. Louis, MO

Come and hear the funeral marching
Maybe this is your suicide
Maybe this is more pure
Pure than simple
Maybe this is all I have for home

Why have all beautiful people
Brushed you on down?
And brushed you on down?

I saw the shame inside your addiction,
Waitin' to see what was passed on by.
I saw the shame and wondered why
I should live, and die.
Leave a note and tell me,
Leave a note and tell me why...

JG

Carl Spackler

Freeze Gopher!

 

Carl Spackler: "License to kill gophers by the government of the United Nations. Man, free to kill gophers at will. To kill, you must know your enemy, and in this case my enemy is a varmint. And a varmint will never quit - ever. They're like the Viet Cong - Varmint Cong. So you have to fall back on superior intelligence and superior firepower. And that's all she wrote..."

In other news:

 [standing in an ornamental flowerbed] "What an incredible Cinderella story! This unknown, comes out of nowhere, to lead the pack at Augusta. He's at the final hole. He's about 455 yards away, he's gonna hit about a 2-iron, I think. [swings, pulverizes a flower] Oh, he got all of that. The crowd is standing on its feet here at Augusta. The normally reserved crowd is going wild... [pauses] for this young Cinderella who's come out of nowhere. He's got about 350 yards left, he's going to hit about a 5-iron, it looks like, don't you think? He's got a beautiful backswing... [swings, pulverizes another flower] that's- oh, he got all of that one! He's gotta be pleased with that! The crowd is just on its feet here. He's a Cinderella boy. Tears in his eyes, I guess, as he lines up this last shot. He's got about 195 yards left, and he's got a, looks like he's got about an 8-iron. This crowd has gone deadly silent... Cinderella story, out of nowhere, former greenskeeper, now about to become the Masters champion. [swings, pulverizes yet another flower] It looks like a mirac- it's in the hole! It's in the hole!"

Have a great day people!

JG

Recreational Chemistry Gone Wrong (Unplugged)

Just like the Wizard of Oz.  A meander through the field of poppies into a deep sleep.  Floating.  Dreaming.  No boundaries and not a care in the world that would suck you back from this state of mind.  A momentary lapse of reasoning that the stop signs were missed.  Oblong, rectangles, circles, white, blue, orange...jagged little morsels.  Highways and thruways become different routes.  They are a bit tricky ya know!  The door locks behind you upon entering.  Invitations all over so enticing and dressed to impress.  Dancing for weeks into months into years that seem just like minutes.  Long conversations with strangers.  "The shoulder that I leaned on was carved out of stone."  Just when you think that you couldn't get much higher, you look down to see that you really cannot get much lower.  Some look so low that they are looking up through a wooden box with dirt all around it.  Melancholia and the infinite sadness will walk hand in hand with you.  Silent whispers.  Fight or flight.  The fork in the road.  Temporary status until your name turns into desperation.  You'll be so busy you won't even notice, I promise!  When you can stop you don't want to.  When you wanna stop, you can't.  The walls are closing in and they are not cushioned!  Taunted and tormented, and the only thing that makes it go away is the very thing that makes it come back.  I wouldn't say it is so much a win win situation by any means.  Early departures and we are not at the airport, the bus station, train station, or flagging down a taxi.    

A thought from "The Salton Sea":  

"So that's where I found myself.  No, I should choose my words more wisely.  This is the world I sought out.  The land of the perpetual night party.  Day swallowing night and night swallowing day. The crank compressing time like some divine piston on its awesome down stroke.  We've been at this for three days...or is it four?  Tweakers, lokers, slammers, coming and going, swearing eternal allegiance and undying love for one another, only to wake up after the binge and realize you wouldn't walk across the street to piss on one of them if their head was on fire.  Three days.  Or is it four?  I know what you're thinking, but don't give up on me just yet.  Just wait 'til I've told my whole story. And keep your eyes open.  Nothing is as it seems...For the people who don't do drugs, or just do them occasionally, it's something that becomes your life, and you belong.  You finally hit bottom and you know who you are, because you can't go any lower.  When you find...a friendship that you wouldn't have found anywhere else.  Still and all, there's a kind of intimacy with those that can go the distance. Sometimes you see the world so clearly...and you know just what to do, and just when to do it.  Just what you should've done, and when you should've done it." 

Let's straighten this out.  I don't promote nor use.  I'm around it at certain venues and if I wasn't certain that I could say no, I have no business there to begin with.  I get high on the music itself.  We have choices.  It's a part of my story, my voyage and my struggles.  My tale as it unfolds for all to see.  There are a lot of acquaintances that we have in this world and not many true friends.  I've had some true friends leave this world with a piece of me with them.  They never asked if they could take it, they just left with it.  I also have some friends that are still with me and I want to say with the utmost sincerity from my heart...I LOVE YOU!  Please take a step back from the cliff, you never know when the wind will pick up and push you further than you ever wanted to go.

JG

Skipping Rocks in my Sleep

I'll put a couple of tear drops in my pocket to embed them into my clothing.  It helps.  Thoughts of yesterdays moments are over and done.  It's the haunting ones that linger that you want to deal with and the pleasant ones you embrace.  It's a new moment in time, which stops for nothing.  A brief outline of tomorrow is what I go on.  A silhouette of a blueprint surrounded by fog once and awhile.  I stand amazed at times of the broken green light, always on green.  For all of you that take the time to fix it so that it cycles again, my hats off to you.  Consistency.  A term that floats in and out of my life like the Autumn leaves dancing in circles and landing in a different place.  "Novocaine for the soul, before I sputter out."  Sounds good?  There is a tug inside of me that I can't quite put my index on it, but I know that I know that I know.  Mundane vision.  Empty warehouse.  Stale crackers and orange peels.  Let's just vacuum the floor up and keep it moving.  You reap what you sow.  Harvest time comin'.  Existing and engaging are on opposite sides of the fence.  I've seen both of their backyards and existing doesn't mow it's lawn.  Paint your perfect picture and tell me what it looks like.  After all, do we not make choices?  Let's saddle up in a horse and buggy.  We can stroll through sleepy hollow and invite the headless horseman to come on board for a pleasant conversation over tea.  It knows the great mysteries of this place and what a humble guide to have along for the ride.  "The wind in the willows played tea for two, the sky was yellow and the sun was blue."  I'm catching the next wave back to shore to rest awhile and I'm also a bit anxious of these waters.  The aquatic life is somewhat restless and I'm a three course meal.  They can pick and choose, they have it like that.  The water is somber as are the surprises below.  It all started when the bus came by and I got on...  

JG 

“We're all bozos on the bus,
so might as well sit back
and enjoy the ride.”
~Wavy Gravy~

Ripple

If my words did glow with the gold of sunshine
And my tunes were played on the harp unstrung
Would you hear my voice come through the music?
Would you hold it near, as it were your own?

It's a hand-me-down, the thoughts are broken
Perhaps they're better left unsung
I don't know, don't really care
Let there be songs to fill the air 

Ripple in still water
When there is no pebble tossed
Nor wind to blow

Reach out your hand if your cup be empty
If your cup is full may it be again
Let it be known there is a fountain
That was not made by the hands of man

There is a road, no simple highway
Between the dawn and the dark of night
And if you go, no one may follow
That path is for your steps alone

Ripple in still water
When there is no pebble tossed
"Nor wind to blow

You who choose to lead must follow
But if you fall, you fall alone
If you should stand, then who's to guide you?
If I knew the way, I would take you home...

 

JG

 

ll

First performed on August 18, 1970, at the Fillmore West in San Francisco. "Ripple" appeared in the middle of the first set, an acoustic set, between "Dark Hollow" and "Brokedown Palace."  The "Brokedown Palace" was also a premiere, as was the show's "Operator," and "Truckin."'

  Several lines in this lyric conjure up the 23rd Psalm, which for many listeners will be an evocation of peace and reassurance. In particular, the lines referring to "still water," the filling of an empty cup, and the walking on a path in the shadow of the dark of night are strong references.

Hunter invokes the psalm associations in the first verse, with his mention of the traditional psalmist's accompaniment, the harp.

Melody Monday

So Many Roads

Soldier Field 7-9-95

Thought I heard a blackbird singin'
up on Bluebird Hill
Call me a whinin' boy if you will
Born where the sun don't shine
and I don't deny my name
Got no place to go, ain't that a shame?

Thought I heard that KC whistle
moanin' sweet & low
Thought I heard that KC when she blow
Down where the sun don't shine
Underneath the Kokomo
Whinin' boy -- got no place else to go

So many roads I tell you
So many roads I know
So many roads --
so many roads --
Mountain high, river wide
So many roads to ride
So many roads
So many roads

Thought I heard a jug band playin'
"If you don't -- who else will?"
from over on the far side of the hill
All I know the sun don't shine
the rain refuse to fall
and you don't seem to hear me when I call

Wind inside & the wind outside
Tangled in the window blind
Tell me why you treat me so unkind
Down where the sun don't shine
Lonely and I call your name
No place left to go, ain't that a shame?

So many roads I tell you
New York to San Francisco
All I want is one
to take me home
From the high road to the low
So many roads I know
So many roads - So many roads

From the land of the midnight sun
where ice blue roses grow
'long those roads of gold and silver snow
Howlin' wide or moanin low
So many roads I know
So many roads to ease my soul...

First performance: Sunday, Februady 22, 1992 at the Coliseum Arena, Oakland, California. "So Many Roads" appeared in the first set, following "Wang Dang Doodle" and preceding "Queen Jane Approximately." The other first in the show was "Wave to the Wind."

This was the last time Jerry sang this song being it was last show the Grateful Dead ever did.  Jerry passed away exactly a month later on August 9th, 1995 at 4:23 am due to a heart attack.  I don't think anyone can put into words the void that rippled the planet on that day.  The void is still felt today.

 

I feel your silent laughter
at sentiments so bold
that dare to step across the line
to tell what must be told,
so I'll just say I love you,
which I never said before
and let it go at that old friend
the rest you may ignore...

~R. Hunter~

JG 

 

Nothing left to do but smile, smile, smile

Rat in a drain ditch
Caught on a limb
You know better but
I know him
Like I told you
What I said
Steal your face (~):}
right off your head

Now he's gone
Lord he's gone
Like a steam locomotive
rolling down the track
He's gone
He's gone
and nothing's gonna bring him back
He's gone

Nine mile skid
on a ten mile ride
Hot as a pistol
but cool inside
  Cat on a tin roof
Dogs in a pile
Nothing left to do but
  SMILE, SMILE, SMILE

Now he's gone
Lord he's gone
Like a steam locomotive
rolling down the track
He's gone
He's gone
and nothing's gonna bring him back
He's gone

Going where the wind don't blow so strange
Maybe on some high cold mountain range
Lost one round but the price wasn't anything
Knife in a back and more of the same

Same old rat in a drain ditch
Caught on a limb
You know better but I know him
Like I told you

What I said

Steal your face right off your head

Now he's gone
Lord he's gone
Like a steam locomotive
rolling down the track
He's gone
He's gone
and nothin's gonna bring him back

He's gone....

  tt

First performance: April 17, 1972, at the Tivoli Gardens, Copenhagen, Denmark. "He's Gone" appeared in the first set, between "Jack Straw" and "Next Time You See Me."

---

He's gone

"He's Gone," as originally written, referred to the disappearance of Mickey Hart's father, Lenny Hart, who was acting as the band's manager, with a good deal of money.  Since then, the song has become riddled with meaning, played often quite tenderly when someone close to the band dies.

I woke up with this tune in my ear.  Maybe you did too?  Anyways people, expect more from me as I have been very busy lately but I want to form more of a consistent display...my mind inside out. 

The wheel is turning
and you can't slow down
You can't let go
and you can't hold on
You can't go back
and you can't stand still
If the thunder don't get you
then the lightning will...

JG  

Melody Monday

Comes a Time ☮ Grateful Dead, 1977

Comes a time when the blind-man takes your hand, says don't you see?
Gotta make it somehow on the dreams you still believe.
Don't give it up, you got an empty cup only love can fill,
Only love can fill.

Been walking all morning went walking all night
I can't see much difference between the dark and light
And I feel the wind and I taste the rain
Never in my mind to cause so much pain.

Comes a time when the blind-man takes your hand, says don't you see?
Gotta make it somehow on the dreams you still believe.
Don't give it up, you got an empty cup only love can fill,
Only love can fill.

Day to day just letting it ride.
You get so far away from how it feels inside.
You can't let go cause you're afraid to fall,
But the day may come when you can't feel at all.

Comes a time when the blind-man takes your hand, says don't you see?
Gotta make it somehow on the dreams you still believe.
Don't give it up, you got an empty cup only love can fill,
Only love can fill, only love can fill, only love can fill.

Take it away Jerry...

JG 

First performance: October 19, 1971, at Northrop Auditorium, University of Minnesota, Minneapolis, Minnesota. "Comes a Time" appeared in the first set, following the first ever "Mexicali Blues" and preceding "Playing In the Band."Other firsts in the show, which was Keith Godchaux's first, were  "Tennessee Jed," "Jack Straw," "One More Saturday Night," and "Ramble On Rose."  The song never made it into a permanent rotation, but reappeared periodically over the years.